You can’t polish a turd…

You really can’t, you can roll it in glitter, stick stars on it, but no matter how you dress it up it’s still a piece of shit.

The opening line is my favourite saying and it can be applied to so many things, objects, places and my favourite, people.

Everyone has come across places where money has been invested, but for some reason it still looks like crap. An example of this is the People’s Republic of Reading. You go into the town centre there is a god awful street which has all the chav/ yobbo bars down (Friar Street), all changing names as regular as changing your underwear. From there you go head towards Broad Street after passing several skanks on a 50m walk. One end of Broad Street is ok, there is a massive shopping centre which is relatively new with restaurants and bars opening on the riverside. Sounds lovely, but there is no culture and it’s all very generic, you could be in any shopping centre within the UK.

Back on Broad Street, take a walk past John Lewis and the shops change to those cheap ones that appear selling Xmas wrap and facilities to unlock mobile phones, this is the poor end of town (underhand segregation, keep the classes apart!). While one side is given a facelift the other is left in disrepair like a failed 70’s high street. It’s not just this bleakness that I dislike about Reading, but it’s the lack of culture, historical architecture, uniqueness. It’s got to be one of the most uninspiring towns you could possibly visit in the UK. Even the theatre The Hexagon is in an awful building located just off the fly over, not pleasant.

There is nothing unique or classy about Reading, you arrive and it sucks the life out of you, no massive green areas or parks in the town centre (Forbury gardens doesn’t count-too small), just a town that looks like it saw its best days 200 years ago before they tore down anything good.

Reading, you can’t polish a turd.


The saying can be applied to people too. Manners, respect for self and others cost nothing, it’s a mindset and part of your personality. Too many people are wrapped up in their own egos that they fail to see what is going on in the world around them and the impact of their behaviour. We’ve all come across someone who is so rude and self absorbed, believing that because they earn a certain amount of money or they own status symbols or they believe the world owes them, that they have a right to be a shit to others? Well they don’t. You can’t polish a turd. Say that to the next person that you hear being rude or underhanded, it will take them a while to figure out what you mean.   

Day 17 28DW (Yes I’m still going with this 28DW- I will finish!) Tabloid Newspapers



The British newspapers sicken me, not every single one but around 90%. Other countries around the world look at our papers and marvel at the choice due to the freedom of the press. Having variety doesn’t mean the news is quality.

Recently the Leveson enquiry took place that made a list of recommendations to the government about the national newspapers and what is wrong with them. Here is a list of the recommendations.

Summarising this, some of the papers were found to be sexist, racist and homophobic, which anyone who has enough common sense and not a Tory can see, spreading hatred and prejudices. I often wonder who buy these papers because if you want real up to date news you would look on twitter or go online, which means whatever is printed is already out of date. But clearly some people do otherwise they still wouldn’t be around!

Only in the UK could you get newspapers that anyone can buy with women topless or posing in a manner of positions and it be considered ok? The Sun. Sarah 19 from Kent wants to ‘change the world’, so why get your breasts out enforcing that belief to the men who look at it, that it’s ok to objectify women and you know what? You can go up to a woman in the street or on a night out and ogle at her breasts and it’s ok to grab her instead, (I’ve seen it happen). It’s not just the picture that is wrong; it’s the way the stories are written in that paper plus others about how they view women which reinforces the objectifying and bad treatment of women more.

We can’t rule out the Daily Express and Daily Mail either. They objectify the middle class woman instead, the woman they photograph are clothed, but once more it’s the style at which they write which instead of a thick shit reading it, it is a 40-50 year old Tory supporter reading it grabbing his man hood instead.  It’s more subtle but it’s still there. With these papers we have headlines about:

  • Benefit scrounging Britain
  • Number of immigrant’s
  • Lack of jobs for the white British person

The underlying racial hatred is disgusting; I don’t know how the editors of either paper haven’t been charged with spreading racial hatred. All of their stories aren’t based on facts; it’s all scare mongering, reinforcing the people who read these papers of their prejudices and justifying them.

After my previous blog post about the Girls Aloud concert I reviewed, I was on a train home from London on the Monday night to discover that in the Evening Standard an article written by a man named Andre (forgot his surname because believe me if I could find this tosser on twitter and give him a piece of my mind, I would), had been at the same concert as me. His review was written in a very different style, detailing the girls in skimpy outfits, not much dancing and had written it from a perspective that he was in a strip club and the girls were there to dance provocatively for him. Well the girls did do their set dance routines, they did sing live and they put on a fabulous show that got all the audience involved. At no point did they insinuate or simulate sex, any man in attendance getting a hard on must have been a sexual pest and should have been removed (he would have been the only straight guy there). Again he had written it from a chauvinistic point of view objectifying women- shame on you Andre You Cunt!

I was lucky enough to be a performer in the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics (one of the 1000 drummers in the Industrial Revolution), we got into rehearsal one evening in the stadium to discover that the Evening Standard had gone over in a blimp the earlier in the day, taking photos of a set that was half dressed (mid way through a change as they were testing things), with a full write up of assumptions which they listed to their readers as factual, which were incorrect and sending a message out that the ceremony was going to be a disaster and Danny Boyle had no idea what he was doing. Again utter bollocks, factually incorrect and putting the doom and gloom into Londoners that it is all shit. For anyone who watched it, you know how amazing and thought provoking it was.

The person behind a large proportion of the British press? That’s right it’s that all loving Australian that seems to dodge any form of prosecution as he never knew- Rupert Murdoch, worst bit is he isn’t even British so god knows why he is allowed to own a chunk of these papers and control the way in which the British public view the world.

One of my points to this piece, is when you have an individual who controls a large portion of the British press as well as a section of broadcasting (note I do not have Sky and I never will for that reason), there isn’t much freedom of the press as it’s all controlled and from the same source. What infuriates me more is that the recommendations from the Levison enquiry have been swept under the carpet by the government and the reason for this? The papers ultimately help the government win elections, they all have a biased in some form to a party and a few MP’s are in bed with papers which is why allowances are given. Very corrupt and no real freedom of the press! The only people that benefits are the MP’s – selfish!

My second point of the British press is that they influence their readers on a load of bull shit; everything is reported inaccurately. They write in such a negative style, creating prejudices and hatred towards women, homosexuals, ethnic minorities, non Christians, disabled people and anyone who is suffering day to day in angst.

Third point is the offending papers mentioned and a few more have writers/ journalists that often have no knowledge of the subject they are reporting giving an ill informed account. You only need to look at the Sunday Express and Sunday People’s headline today to see this.

I mean who writes about an alcoholic ex footballer who beat up his former wife and screwed up his family in such a rose tinted view, as looking tanned and radiant as they leave a rehab hospital. Um the yellow tan is because his liver is failing and this isn’t real news… That’s right, The Sunday People do.

The Sunday Express ran with a headline ‘Revenge of Saville Victim’ making a mockery of sexual abuse a woman has endured as a child.

If anyone who is reading this and buys any of these papers or goes onto their websites, please don’t. If you want real news, look at The Guardian, The Independent, I or

My first blog piece.. as a guest writer. Hope you all enjoy.


The following is a guest piece from: apieceofpandemonium:

I’ve been asked by SudoOne to write this post as it’s a special occasion as it’s the 100th post! What a honour I hold and I hope to do SudoOne justice.

So why Four Weddings?

Weddings are a joyous occasion however unfortunatley for me, (or rather my bank balance) I have reached an age where a fair few of my friends are getting enagged/ married.  Next year alone I have 4 to attend, so what does this mean for me?

  • Engagement Party
  • Hen Do
  • Wedding Outfit: dress/ shoes/ fascinator/ handbag/ seamless underwear (no I am not kidding)
  • Accomodation (plus flights if abroad)
  • Wedding Gift

Myself and SudoOne spoke at length around what it is weddings mean and have they in fact lost that meaning?

TV shows such as:

Don’t Tell The Bride:- said bride and groom are split for 3 weeks, no communication allowed. Groom…

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