You can’t polish a turd…

You really can’t, you can roll it in glitter, stick stars on it, but no matter how you dress it up it’s still a piece of shit.

The opening line is my favourite saying and it can be applied to so many things, objects, places and my favourite, people.

Everyone has come across places where money has been invested, but for some reason it still looks like crap. An example of this is the People’s Republic of Reading. You go into the town centre there is a god awful street which has all the chav/ yobbo bars down (Friar Street), all changing names as regular as changing your underwear. From there you go head towards Broad Street after passing several skanks on a 50m walk. One end of Broad Street is ok, there is a massive shopping centre which is relatively new with restaurants and bars opening on the riverside. Sounds lovely, but there is no culture and it’s all very generic, you could be in any shopping centre within the UK.

Back on Broad Street, take a walk past John Lewis and the shops change to those cheap ones that appear selling Xmas wrap and facilities to unlock mobile phones, this is the poor end of town (underhand segregation, keep the classes apart!). While one side is given a facelift the other is left in disrepair like a failed 70’s high street. It’s not just this bleakness that I dislike about Reading, but it’s the lack of culture, historical architecture, uniqueness. It’s got to be one of the most uninspiring towns you could possibly visit in the UK. Even the theatre The Hexagon is in an awful building located just off the fly over, not pleasant.

There is nothing unique or classy about Reading, you arrive and it sucks the life out of you, no massive green areas or parks in the town centre (Forbury gardens doesn’t count-too small), just a town that looks like it saw its best days 200 years ago before they tore down anything good.

Reading, you can’t polish a turd.


The saying can be applied to people too. Manners, respect for self and others cost nothing, it’s a mindset and part of your personality. Too many people are wrapped up in their own egos that they fail to see what is going on in the world around them and the impact of their behaviour. We’ve all come across someone who is so rude and self absorbed, believing that because they earn a certain amount of money or they own status symbols or they believe the world owes them, that they have a right to be a shit to others? Well they don’t. You can’t polish a turd. Say that to the next person that you hear being rude or underhanded, it will take them a while to figure out what you mean.   

Day 12 Clean and Tidy

A few weeks ago I thought I was going mad, until a discussion with a couple of female friends over dinner one night informed me that no, I was in fact quite normal they too had experienced manic and stress over a disorganised home.

Let me set the scene for you:

  • One bedroom flat
  • It had been snowing
  • ‘The Boy’ was visiting
  • We had come back from sledging
  • We were cooking Indian food from scratch

There had been washing hanging up from the previous night drying- 2 airers worth which was taking up half the lounge. The boy had brought his overnight bag with him which was on the floor of the bedroom. We had wet clothes and waterproofs hanging up on doors and over the back of chairs trying to dry them out. The Boy isn’t the tidiest of people when he cooks; we were both working on the different dishes we were going to be eating in my kitchen (it’s a small gallery one) and he was getting flour all over the sides and on the floor. There wasn’t enough room to put everything, the window sill was also being used and the sink piled high with dirty pots and pans.

By this point when I took in the full scale of this chaos I flipped. Now reading this you may be thinking I started shouting and getting red with rage. Nope, I became silent and was now brewing like a cup of tea. The boy noticed that I had gone silent- it’s a warning sign that I’ve lost the plot slightly. He innocently asks me if I’m ok, to which I reply in the most female way possible ‘I’m fine,’ he knows I’m lying. He’s watching me closely now wondering what my next step of action is going to be. I quietly mutter, ‘this place is a mess,’ the panic in his eyes as he realises that I’m now looking at the flour that is on the floor where he’s standing. He is fully aware of what’s coming, I’m going to clean and sort the flat before actually sitting down to eat.

By FASTILY (Own work) [GFDL ( or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

Arghhhhh. (not my house)

From my point of view, I was full on having a panic attack about the mess and state of the flat. My heart was racing fast, was shaking and I felt completely out of control. I couldn’t sit down and eat until order had been restored and my panic had subsided. Where did I start? With the washing, I took down the airers, folded up all the washing and put away, put anything I could away! Then came sorting the kitchen, the boy was already onto this and had cleared up the flour that he had knocked everywhere. I started washing up, he kept telling me to sit down and eat. He was right.

I hate being disorganised and chaotic, I feel out of control and that I don’t have a grip on the situation. My life has been invaded! This is made worse because it’s been 8 hours since I’ve eaten, I’m a moody person due to low sugar, ratty like a child that needs to sleep and my sense of logic is lost. Had I already eaten, yes the chaos would have got to me, but I would have dealt with it in a more calming way and not gone into a full scale panic.

What did I learn from this venture?

  • Always eat little and often
  • Never try cooking 5 different dishes in a small kitchen
  • Always have washing away before boy comes round
  • Make sure boy has a compartment in wardrobe where his stuff can be hidden away.

Please check out the work of my fellow 28DW bloggers at The Resident Weeble and Sudo One

Day 7 of 28DW- Equal Opportunities and Gay Marriage

In December I had conversation with a colleague of mine about gay marriage. I was very confused about the fact that a civil partnership wasn’t actually a marriage, (some of you reading this will be thinking ‘thick shit’) I will tell you why.

I’m not religious, I’m also not bothered whether I do or don’t get married, indifferent you could say. If I was to get married it would be a civil ceremony to my man (I’m a woman), which I thought was the same as a gay couple. Neither couple is getting married in a religious place, it’s a civil ceremony. But why would I come out having a civil wedding and being ‘married,’ when 2 people of the same sex are committing themselves to each other, there’s would be a ‘civil partnership’? Something doesn’t seem right or very fair to me!

What hacks me off even more was that when researching the difference online, I discover that 2 catholic countries in Europe, Spain and Portugal allow same sex marriage as well as a handful of other European countries. How did the UK become so backward?

After doing some online research, it appears that if you are married or in a civil partnership, you have the same legal rights (this is good and equal). The difference is religious groups/ organisations are not permitted to perform same sex marriages (although MP’s have now voted in favour). To really add confusion, a man and a woman who wish to be together aren’t allowed to have a civil partnership, still needs to be a civil marriage.

What I find sad in all of this is that it just doesn’t appear equal to anyone. If you happen to believe in a particular religion and are gay, why on earth should you not allowed to be married by your chosen religion and it be legally recognised? Equally, why on earth because I’m not religious can’t I have a civil partnership instead of a marriage?

Marriage rates in the UK are decreasing along with divorce rates; you could argue this is due to a recession, lack of money. Although, could it be one of the following?

  • People aren’t marrying their child hood sweet heart, like they did 20 / 30 years ago
  • People are realising what they want and value their own self worth
  • People now entering into relationships as equals

In fact why should a piece of paper state how much you love someone? It’s about working as a team and an equal partnership, both bringing something to the relationship helping the other person grow, supporting one another.

If some religious organisation or an out dated institution can’t recognise the love you have for each other, then quite frankly Fuck them, you are better off without them (although I get it’s the principle). As part of my protest, until they re-write the constitution and take out all the sexism, oppression and it’s the same set of rules for all, I have no intention of getting married.

If you want to find out more about what the different reactions to the recent vote in Parliament from the figure heads in the different churches and religious groups in the UK, please take a visit to the Guardian’s website.

Please check out the work of my fellow 28DW bloggers at The Resident Weeble and Sudo One